3 Toy Chihuahuas

I don't even know where to begin with this one. All I can say is clearly I was NOT on my game. At all.

PARTAAAY* sent me a message on match.com while I was out of town one week. His message was nice enough (although his spelling was terrible and if you know me, you know how I feel about that) and after glancing at his profile, I went ahead and responded to his message. After a few days of multiple (and by multiple I mean 3-4 to every 1 of mine...) emails, I decided to go ahead and give him my cell phone number so we could text while I was travelling back home. A great way to pass the time while in airports, right? So, we texted throughout the day and it became increasingly more annoying. It was a great reminder that, while having someone pay attention to you is nice, it's only nice if you actually like the person from which the attention is coming. We ended things that evening with him saying "text me tomorrow if you like". And I left it at that. 

Let me interrupt here to let you know some things I found out during our texting. First of all, PARTAAAY*  has his own way of spelling. For example, he asked if I was "haveing a good day". He later said that it was "good to hear from me agine". Not to mention the time he said "I ain't that good of a cook". After he mentioned that he loved hanging out with his dogs, I asked him what type of dogs he had. I'll be honest, his reply was THE LAST thing I expected. 

3 toy chihuahuas. And he "luuuuuuuvs them".

Why didn't I immediately change my phone number, you ask? I'm wondering the same thing.

Moving on. At this point, I'm sure you're wondering why his chosen pseudonym is PARTAAAY* . Let me explain.

So, the next day, I was hanging out with my good friend Anna. I told her about PARTAAAY* , and she wanted to see his profile. I sign in to my account and she takes the computer. It didn't take long before the first thing she said was, while pointing to his picture, "Does he have long hair?" I grabbed the computer and was shocked to discover that my cursory glance at his profile was OBVIOUSLY not good enough. Not only did he have long hair, he had a party or (PARTAAAY) in the back. Straight up mullet. I almost cried. 

As she continued to read further, I also missed his very important statement concerning the last thing he read.

"The warning label on the back of a Marlboro pack".

I immediately blocked him on match and gmail. I didn't change my number, but it only took a few days of texting me with no response before he got the hint. 

So, if you're looking for a PARTAAAY, I have just the man for you. I'll be happy to set you up.